As I sit here looking over the gorgeous water scape of Connaught Waters in nearby Essex, I’m afforded a rare luxury – a time to reflect and appreciate. And luckily, I get to do this with my daughter whilst I afford my wife her own rare luxury – time off from parenting.
You see I may joke around and act all nonchalant and cocky sometimes but deep down inside, I’m just a good guy trying to do good in everything he attempts including the matrix that is parenthood.
It has been a very long time since I wrote my last entry but I have been busy with fatherhood, marriage and work that it’s very hard to find relaxation time or time to myself. Over the past couple of years, I’ve also been trying to find some missing pieces from my life in terms of trying to locate my father (he left the family when I was 10 months old and moved to his country, Iran). But that is a whole other DD entry which I will reveal soon.
Being a father has been intense, enjoyable, humbling and thoroughly entertaining. But most of all, it has given me hunger and desire to be the parent that my mum was to me. To be able to pass down my wisdom, knowledge and advice to Lily and allow her to find her way through life using the morals, beliefs and values I’m trying to instil in her.
As every father can testify to, there is no handbook on how to be a good father. You just do what feels right and what you feel is good and beneficial for your child. I’m just thankful that even though there have been times where I’ve wanted to run away, God and my wife have always brought me back to deal with the personal fatherhood issue/insecurity I may be having. I’m learning so much every day and I have a great team player in my wife to guide me and allow me to observe things from another angle. We help each other out in our parenting. We compliment each other.
As for Lily – well boy has she grown up. She’s nearing 19 months old now and has changed a lot from the chubby alien-looking baby I held in my arms when she was born (yes I still look at old photos of her). She is incredibly observant and is holding onto more information now from repetition and observation. It’s fascinating.
We are currently living in a bigger house with a single mum and her 13 month old child (we’re all good friends from church) who Lily has been friends with for a while. Lily looks at him as a younger brother (she can tell he is younger), shares food and toys with him, plays with him and kisses him goodnight when it’s his bedtime. These qualities shine out of her because she is a people person who loves company and loves to show love to others.
Lily can now say twenty to thirty words now which include amen (after saying grace), potty, poo, wee, mum, dad, duck, boo and the end (when finishing a bedtime story or book). Whilst at this lake, we were laughing for fifteen minutes after i taught her how to say “get out of town” and she kept repeating it and laughing. My daughter is a massive fan of singing and dancing. She dances to any song that has a tune to it and sings the alphabet and various nursery rhymes. Lily eats very well using her hands and cutlery but is starting to be very picky and independent about what she eats and when she eats. The spontaneous tantrums have already started too and I’m now taking on the role of disciplinarian dad in terms of telling her off and calming her down.
Lily runs up to me as soon as I come in from work to play with me or to give me a hug and kiss. We love to play a lot together and we enjoy reading bedtime stories together.
The thing is now that my daughter is older, we can both fully enjoy each other’s company and I truly enjoy fatherhood. Yes it’s full on and there’s no real break from it but its fun, entertaining and truly a wonderful experience to be a part of. Lily is my twin as other than looking like me, we are also very similar. We love our food a lot, we love being around people (family/friends), we love to play, we emanate our love, we love to fart in public, and most of all, we both love Mummy.
I’m honoured to be Lily’s dad, I love her so much and am so proud of the little mostly well-behaved girl she has grown up to be.
