It’s April already. Blink and it will be June – Noah will be a year old. Blink again and it’s Xmas. You see where I’m going with this? I am losing track of my days weeks and months. I feel like I was holding Noah’s bottle to feed him not so long ago and now, he’ll moan if I’m taking my time with his next spoon of food like – I am not on his schedule! Like is this the Noah show? I’m starting to realise that he’s aiming for it to be the Noah show, Big Time!

This post is very much in the present – going back, then arriving back in the present. We start today. We start at the annual youth service at Church, that mum told me about two weeks in advance, not for us to attend. But for Noah to attend. Side note – Once your parent becomes a grandparent, you slowly find out that it’s no longer about you. And it’s not like they are sympathetic in this shift of love either, no. They’re blatant with it, almost like you served your purpose in life – now, provide two to four more and call it quits. The elders are already praying that we have six children, imagine. Anyway! Mum invites us (Noah) to the Annual Youth Church Service. We arrive. Nat is looking lovely, Noah (having just woken up from his nap) is processing everything “In his own time.” We open the door and enter mum’s Pentecostal setting, filled with vibrancy and a choir of elders whose vocal chords are squeakily stressed, but work in the ears of most Nigerians – not my Son’s though. His cry could be heard by the Keys player, I’m sure. And so began our twenty minute session to try calm down Noah. I have never felt him holding me so tight, almost as if he felt at risk and wanted me to protect him. Couldn’t help but have an aww moment! but being a “man” it’s a thing of “it’s all good little man, calm down.” I’ve been asked several times “How does it feel to be a Father?” I never know how to fully answer, I just have feelings. This feeling, today in particular, is unexplainable, but felt so special.

As much as I want to, I have no analogy for you in this post (none that I’ve thought of purposely anyway.) I can’t tell you X made me see the bigger context of Y… I can tell you that this is like a Daddy Brain dump! an exploration of the multiple going’s on at the moment. I can tell you that little man is definitely en route to his own character. He is a child of peace that appreciates quietness. This doesn’t mean he is silent – far from. He is loud! loud enough to get our attention, loud enough to want to be heard and paid attention to. I can tell you that his crawling has improved dramatically in the last three months. That at the sound of opening the front door/ bathroom door/ Kitchen door, you will soon hear the mini thuds on the carpet, sounding like a herd of animals heading your way. He is growing out of the baby face! I remember the early days of Noah, random people would stop and send blessings/ praises our way, now? There’s still love, but the energy is for an older Noah, not the Noah of mid 2014. I do wonder whether some mothers miss this feeling of praise and (to be honest) attention? It can be as dangerous as it can be caring I think.

Noah is now 10 months and the decision to stay off the meat is still strong. He has tasted some fish here and there however, that’s where it stops. The concern around how meat is processed through the body, as an adult is one thing. Now what about toddlers? Also, the way in which the animal dies is also important. There’s study that highlights the increased aggression/ behavior in people. This can be traced to meat i.e. the level of fear/stress triggered in the system of the animal before death. That sh*t stays in the meat we eat, can’t be washed off or seasoned over. When considering all of these things, the decision (for now) is pretty easy. I have been working a lot at present. Currently working on this scratch for my one-man show. Draining, but it will be worth it when it’s completed. It’s looking like this year will be a year of decisions. While I’m excited, I am also gutted when I arrive home and he is asleep. It is happening more than often now, I get paranoid that he won’t remember me, and then days like today happen. He fully knows who I am.

Disney jnr is a standard in the house now. Name it, I know it! Sofia the first, Henry Hugglemonster, Doc Mcstuffins, Curious George and Mickey Mouse Club House! I know the songs and scenarios, I know he loves Mickey Mouse and at present – his favorite song is Mark Ronson’s Uptown Funk! His boogie cannot be messed with. No Way!

I am thankful not to have any concerns when it comes to him. I just want to make things better, like when he has a blocked nose – sucking out the booger with my mouth doesn’t make it any better, just leaves me with a salty tongue. Gross, I know. He is teething at the moment, bless him! This process is the toughest so far. It’s not like he has one tooth coming through. First time – he had two. Now, he has four! FOUR. Out come the rashes, colds, fever and especially – the temper. It pains us to watch, but we champion his strength in perseverance, the fact that he will moan and follow it up with a smile.

So after his Annual Youth Church service crying phase, I get him into the car, and he is smiling again. The deception is real! Jokes aside, I know he was genuinely scared however, I am verrrrrrrrrrry conscious of the fact that I do not want to play into his hand and make him feel that a cry can get him anything he wants. I shall keep you all posted re this issue.

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Cheers.