Well Mr Greeds kind of caught me this morning as I was on a huge buzz as it was the day that I had both been dreading and looking forward to for 9 months. I tweeted about it being the day my 2nd daughter was joining us and then Yomes asked me about jumping on this #DaddyDiaries thing. As soon as he mentioned it and I established he was being serious I thought it was a good idea as you rarely hear about the daddies or when you do it’s usually negative.  I am going to be very honest with you all, it’s 22:30 and I am so tired, I’m going to keep this as short and sweet as I can as I really want to do this but don’t want to do it on another day as I know I won’t express as much tomorrow as I would today.

I’ll give those that don’t know me a brief background before I share my experience of today.  I am 26 years old and already a dad to a 3 year old daughter, my partner is also 26 years old. During the last pregnancy there were some complications. My partner has high blood pressure and then also developed diabetes through the pregnancy, then to make things even worse my partner got pre-eclampsia. Apologies that I can’t explain what this is but it’s such a hard thing to explain even now I know what it is, but its something that makes pregnancy very dangerous for both mother and baby. During the pregnancy my partner spent almost two months in St Thomas Hospital during the pregnancy and then when we moved to Hastings. 27 hours after being induced my partner had to have  an emergency caesarean as they believed the baby was in distress. Although she had such a difficult pregnancy, my 1st daughter was healthy and the only issue was that her blood sugar levels were low and the midwifes had to make sure she ate (drank) as quick as possible to bring her sugar levels up. The whole pregnancy was a very difficult experience however, I remember this day as the greatest day of my life. This little human being was mine and my responsibility. It was a life changing day and nothing I mean nothing could ever top this, until today.

Pregnancy number 2.

When my partner told me I was going to be a dad again, I was really shocked, as one, we wasn’t trying, and two, because it brought back everything that happened first time. Such a difficult time, I remember those two months I spent working all day then spending all evening up in the hospital. It was such a scary and emotional experience with such a reward at the end. It took me the first 3 months to take in that I was going to be a dad again. In my eyes I had so much fun with my daughter, could anything ever have that same affect on me again? Could I love anything as much as I loved my daughter? I eventually started to except I was going to be a dad again but in all honesty until today I still had those questions in my head. Could the feeling of being a dad again be anything like the first time around? I’m sure many people who read this may be thinking what a prick, but it’s the truth I really did question until today whether I would feel the same with baby number 2 what I did with my first.