Fatherhood is, challenging; it tests patience, and teaches patience, everything you do will take longer. You will have to plan more, get up earlier, and lose a few hours of sleep here and there. You may even discover it gives you new gray hairs! Parenthood presents its fair share of challenges, even within your relationship, tensions build…arguments happen (and to be quite honest, some of the arguments can be quite foolish, even humorous later actually.) Parenting is expensive, and requires work, financial wisdom, and much insight. To be a dad is to be a teacher, you teach your child nearly everything, whether you try to or not. You have to be mindful of your language, your actions, even your expressions. You must be consistent, caring, nurturing, and pretty well rounded (and having a sense of humor doesn’t hurt.) Parenthood is no easy task, and should not be taken lightly.
There was a time in my life where I would have read the above paragraph and made up my mind not to have children. To be honest, I was much more selfish, and much younger then. Parenthood is one of the most self-sacrificing jobs there is. It can become easy to overlook your own health, to ensure that your child is as healthy as possible. There are points of parenting where you are so sleep deprived, it seems as though no amount of corrective beauty cream, or plastic surgery could remove the sizeable bags under your eyes! (I don’t miss those days!) When some look at fatherhood, all they see is struggle, the end of their dreams, the end of good times, etcetera. Maybe that is why so many dads can find it easy to run from such responsibility? I can only guess, as I don’t share such thoughts. There is, however, one thing that many don’t take into account: Love. Not just the word “love,” but how your heart swells with it at the sight of this beautiful person you hold in your arms! Love makes it all worth it, every struggle, every hurdle, every boundary or delay. With every milestone my child comes to, I want to burst into tears and cheer! Love makes parenthood joyous! You will catch yourself doing things that make you look like an idiot, just to see your child’s smile, or hear their infectious laughter. My heart melts when Alexzandria randomly comes up, gives me a hug or kiss, tells me, “I love you Daddy” and returns to playing. I cherish those moments, because I know one day “I love you Dad” may be a set up for “can I have…?” I have learned to relish in the things that frustrate me, and make me laugh at the same time!
THAT is what it’s like for me every day. Alexzandria is so busy and hyper, and in my opinion, she’s pretty smart! She is 18months old, and we are still working with her on potty training. She is doing pretty well with it, yet she does have her off days. I have to keep a pretty close eye on her, because she has decided that her dolls should be potty trained too, and I end up catching her dipping the dolls feet in the toilet! (Since the legs won’t bend for the doll to sit properly) That’s one other thing that changes with parenthood, Toilet Time! Toilet time is no longer a private place/moment for me, it has become time for show and tell, or conversation time! This, of course, forces me to sit with my legs closed so Zan doesn’t see my “groceries” (that’s my word for private areas by the way). If I should close the bathroom door, both she AND THE DOG stand outside the bathroom and beat on the door…so I call Zan a “toilet terrorist,” jokingly of course. My days are filled with crazy statements like, “Zan, get your toe out of your eye! You are going to go blind!” or “Don’t chew on your baby doll’s hair…she doesn’t like that and you’re going to cause her to go bald.” (with a straight face, of course). All day long, Alexzandria is bringing me random pieces of lint, strands of hair, or anything else (that’s practically invisible) that she can manage to find on the floor or in the carpet. These days, “Daddy” means “snot rag”… just this morning she wiped her nose on my pants…and then ran off. I’m not sure why she thinks that’s okay, but at least she doesn’t treat me like Grandma! Zan wipes her hands on my mom whenever they are dirty…like she’s a napkin! My mom seems to be the only one Zan doe’s that to (which is hilarious to me, and Grandpa by the way). Alexzandria keeps EVERYDAY interesting, to say the least!
She is learning quickly, every day I, my wife, and Grandma, work with Zan on counting, the alphabet, anatomy, colors, or knowing the name of random objects. She does best with anatomy, she can say and identify nearly every part of her body. Yet she seems to have a fascination with belly buttons. She never turns down the opportunity to poke someone in the belly button, or try to show them hers. That has been a battle in itself when she’s waving at people across the church and trying to lift her dress all the way up to show off her belly button. I can only imagine onlookers are thinking “worst.parents.ever.” Thankfully now, she is beginning to touch her belly button over her clothes. However, she just recently pointed to my wife’s chest, and proclaimed, “big boobs!” again…worst.parents.ever! You kind of learn to have a sense of humor about these things and just pray she doesn’t do it to someone else!
Zan’s toy of choice at the moment seems to be a shoe box. Not that she doesn’t have toys, but she is more imaginative, and has more fun with the shoe box! It has been treated like a helmet, a race car, a horse, a bassinet for her baby dolls… the list goes on and on. She keeps herself entertained pretty well, and absolutely love educational programs like Leapfrog, or Sesame Street. She has learned to cover her mouth when she coughs, and says “EXCUSE ME!” loudly if she hears anyone belch. Alexzandria says “please,” and “thank you” also, which I absolutely love. We do our best to ensure that she’s manner able and respectful (though we are still trying to get her to stop wiping her hands on Grandma.) I would say the most overused word in my house is “YAY!” Everything is a celebration in our house! That being said, I would have to say that parenthood teaches you to celebrate every little victory! You seem to take notice of every little change in your child, every possible sign of growth. They grow so quickly, that sometimes it seems almost as though you miss yesterday, just because they change so much in such short time! Cherish every moment, even the stressful ones, you’ll find you’ll wish for the stress you USED to have sometimes! Fatherhood is mentally, physically, emotionally, and many times financially exhausting. Fatherhood automatically comes with a few reality checks. Yet fatherhood is a teacher of many life lessons, it’s one of the most important jobs you’ll ever have. The experiences of fatherhood will make you laugh, make you cry, even make you angry. Yet, fatherhood can also loosen you up, prepare you, or improve your time management skills. Seize every possible opportunity you get to teach your child, teach them what it took you years to learn. Be a model of the man you want your son to become, and the type of man you want your daughter to marry. Learn to be light hearted, and laugh off the little things. Never have I been so exhausted, so sleep deprived, or on such an emotional rollercoaster…and you know what? This is the BEST experience of my life. I’ll always cherish being “Daddy.”