I am sitting at this table, full of men bragging about how they can’t have children for various reasons, speaking as though having a child would be a fate with the equivalence of death. I can definitely understand and even respect when people say they don’t want to have children, but, you know what always amazes me? When people speak to me as though their thoughts are universal. “Oh man, you have a kid? That sucks.”
No, it doesn’t suck. You know what sucks? Vacuums suck.(Sadly, thats usually my response.)
They don’t know the struggle it was to receive the gift I have in my child, they don’t know the nights I cried and prayed when I was told I would never be a dad. They’ll never understand the swell of pride, and fighting back of tears at my child’s every accomplishment. They see bills, daycare bills, food, clothing, diapers… they see money blowing out of their wallet. I see that, no matter how empty my wallet is, I am a rich man, PRIVILEGED to partake in fatherhood.
Needless to say, I’m uncomfortable at this table. Uncomfortable like my wife in 6 inch heels, a corset, and tight dress, with a wedgie… at a formal event. That’s gotta be uncomfortable right? You can’t pick wedgies at formal events… its like an unwritten rule. How could I get these men to see the joy of fatherhood? Should I pull out a wallet with a cascading display of photographs? Or snatch out my phone to show them videos and berate them for not knowing what they are missing? Should I just silently sit, grin and bear it waiting for the conversation to end?
Just then I think of the most witty, smart and powerful statement I can… “Well, gentlemen, my daughter is pretty awesome.” They stop, turn and look in my direction, and respond, “Oh yeah?” to which my response is “Definitely!”
I begin to tell them about how brilliant she is, how funny she is without even trying, and how endearing she is… and best of all, I get to be her superman. Suddenly my excitement is spilling over as I’m telling hilarious stories of the craziness that goes on in my house, when something happens. One of them says, “Wow, if I ever have a kid, I want a kid like that!”
It occurs to me that a lot of us brag on our babies, and how proud of them we are… but how often do you hear people really talk about how great their kids are? How they enjoy hanging out with them? How they’d rather hang out with this 3 year old, than to hang out with the guys? Maybe if more men shared the joys of the journey, if everyday was like a daddy diary, there would be more men talking about the father the WANT to be, instead of bragging about “dodged bullets.”
If not having kids is dodging a bullet, then I guess I got shot… and getting shot was one of the best things that happened to me! No, not because it got me a record deal like 50 cent, but because I gained the opportunity to leave a legacy. Not only do I get to leave a legacy, but this little person gets the chance, like so few others, to shape my world. My family is a Godsend, and I consider it a blessing to say, I’ve been shot up! I got married, didn’t dodge that bullet… that bullet was too good! Had a baby, I begged for that bullet! I guess that makes me a thug? And, I recently found out, I got shot again… my beautiful wife and I are expecting another baby! Hmm, I just may get that record deal after all!
I am so THANKFUL for the blessing of being able to experience of fatherhood again, and I know Alexzandria will make a wonderful big sister. So, it appears as though I won’t be quitting Daddy Diaries anytime soon (and why ever would I want to?)!
My life is about to get a little more interesting…