I was asked some weeks ago to put pen to paper about my thoughts concerning my impending fatherhood. As a writer I was obsessed with writing a wonderfully crafted piece that fully described my deepest feelings and take the reader through the twists and turns of my living breathing mind! It’s only now that I am days away from meeting my son for the first time that I’ve realised… I am in no kind of emotional state to write such a piece!

Not that I can’t string sentences together but as my excitement now overrides EVERYTHING, my thoughts jump randomly from place to place; making any written representation of my feelings a jumble.

In the early days of the pregnancy it was easy to control my excitement as I knew that ‘the big day’ was still many weeks away. It’s like booking a summer holiday in January, you try to hold down your excitement until at least July. Well my friends, NOW is my July! (Possibly even my August). My excitement permeates my entire being and every aspect of my life. At work I can’t concentrate as any moment I could receive ‘the call’. My every conversation is now dominated by the little man who is yet to take his first breath.

What will he look like? What kind of personality will he have? What team will he support? (Arsenal obviously). Questions upon questions run through my mind and each question only heightens my excitement.

It’s weird because I don’t feel a sense of dread or fear about becoming a father. Yes of course I feel the weight of responsibility. I’m raising a child, a young man at that but no there is no fear, no apprehension, only joy. Joy at the fact that unlike my biological father I will be there for my son every step of the way. Joy at the fact that my son will grow up in a household with two equally strong parents. Joy at the fact that I will be able to provide my son experiences and opportunities that I was unable to have. Yes I am truly excited!

This is indeed a special year. Many of my close friends are embarking on their maiden journey of fatherhood. I feel proud and honoured to be joining a fraternity of such strong, cultured and beautifully spirited brothers. I don’t feel alone on this journey, my brothers are on the end of the phone (or a drive away) if I need them.

So as these final weeks dwindle into the final days one word seems to scream out over the noise of my jumbled thoughts and emotions, EXCITEMENT! Something tells me I’m going to need to draw on that emotion when I’m steeling myself for the 3am feed!