When my partner told me I was going to be a dad again, I was really shocked as one, we wasn’t trying, and two, because it brought back everything that happened first time around.
Such a difficult time, I remember those two months I spent working all day then spending all evening sat up in the hospital. It was such a scary and emotional experience with such a reward at the end. It took me the first 3 months to take in I was going to be a dad again. In my eyes I had so much fun with my daughter, could anything ever have that same affect on me? Could I love anything as much as I loved my daughter? I eventually started to except I was going to be a dad, again, but in all honesty until today, I still had those questions in my head.
07:15 This morning my mother in law to be came to collect my partner and left for the hospital, We decided this time around that I would take my daughter to school at 09:00 then make my way straight to the hospital, Oh! I also forgot to mention why she went to the hospital today. This pregnancy seemed to be so much smoother then the first. My partner still had the diabetes that she developed through the first pregnancy and she still has medication for this plus the high blood pressure. The diabetes medication was instantly changed to insulin injections 3 times a day. My partner had to attend hospitals appointments almost every week for check ups and she had almost treble the amount of scans somebody would have in a normal pregnancy, However, even with all these appointments, and all the medication, the pregnancy seemed so much more controlled and my partner was well looked after.
Most mothers with diabetes usually have big babies and we were told that the baby would be big and that it was breach (Meaning the baby was not head down ready to come out head first). It was then agreed and planned that my partner would not go full term (40 weeks) and that she would go 38 weeks roughly and be booked in for a caesarean like last time. Although last time was a difficult experience, I was slightly relieved we had to book one as it made life so much easier knowing we would not go through hours of labour, and we got a date in advance so I could arrange holiday and paternity leave.
Ok back today my partner, left with her mum for the hospital. I woke up and got my 3 year old daughter ready for school. This morning I was feeling extremely nervous and excited. I was slightly fearful of what the day had in store for us but was extremely excited to know I was going to meet my little girl and really wanted to know what she was going to look like. So I’m getting me and my daughter ready and I get a text at 08:03 am. ‘I’m first in a 9.00’. My heart started racing, Oh sugar it was happening oh sugar I need to get there, Then to make things a bit more difficult, my 3 year old daughter has a snotty nose and her school asks that the children don’t come in if they have snotty noses. I now needed a baby sitter quick. I eventually got hold of my partner’s sister who says I can drop my daughter there. I do this then shoot over to the hospital. I arrived at the hospital at 09:20 but when I got to the ward I was told my partner was already in theatre but as soon as the surgery was done I would be invited into the recovery area. That wait was the longest wait ever and the feeling I had in my stomach was unreal. I was worried, nervous, and absolutely shitting myself. The next time I saw my partner I would be a dad again. The hardest part of sitting there was just not knowing. It was so much easier the first time around as I was in theatre and knew what was happening however right then for that moment I had no idea what was going on. After a very long nervous wait that only turned out to be approximately 20 minutes, a mid wife wearing her surgery room gown and surgery hat came to where I was asking. She asked if I was dad. I just said yes and she said “good, quick lets go, your partner is expecting you”. I was then taking to a small room. I was then joined by my partners mum and in her arms there she was my new baby girl. She gave her straight to me. I was speechless for a few minutes. I then asked about my partner and was informed she was being stitched back up. All I could think was that she looked so much like my first daughter did. I had to pinch myself as I thought I was dreaming and was back in that room 3 years ago. That worry I had about whether my feelings today could ever compare to that day last time with my daughter. It was just then that I realised it did. That feeling you get when you see your child for the first time is always there whether it is your first or second. Many of times of seen the argument is there such thing as love at first sight, well when you’re talking about your children it does as you love them instantly. She was everything I expected and more. Then my partner came out of the theatre and I just gave her the look as she came out. She was obviously feeling so rough after surgery but that smile she gave me when she saw me holding my little girl. Not only did this woman give me my beautiful daughter but then she gave me another. She had made me the happiest man alive. For that moment I could not think of anything else other then my family. Both mum and baby were healthy. Baby’s blood sugar levels were a bit low as mum had not eaten since the night before so she needed milk as soon as possible. But before this, the baby was weighed. 9lbs 5.
This day had been another perfect day and there was nothing that could top it until….
My 3 year old daughter came to visit. This then become the best moment in my life when my eldest daughter met my youngest. The only way to describe this moment was priceless. My eldest wanted to help her mum with feeding, with changing the baby and she constantly wanted to hold her too. So caring and so loving. The two most beautiful girls in the world together for the very first time. I owe my partner big time and can never give her what she has given me with my girls, actually I have her girls. Good luck to anyone having children and remember it’s not an easy task yet it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, so give thanks and cherish the moments you share.