Now bear with me, this seems like quite a heavy subject but let me explain…

Small person is now three years and two months old, and very chatty.
Also, very articulate, and very smart. This pleases me and small persons mum no end. And me being the African father that I am, I am talking to her about and teaching her an array of subjects. Most recently, red blood cells and the circulatory system. She is inquisitive, and asks a lot of questions. Never annoying as I am genuinely amazed by how her mind works. Sometimes me and my partner look at each other, then her in awe wondering how the bag of flour sized person we brought home is now asking us to skip the adverts on the TV (YouTube), then getting frustrated and doing it herself! However, with these questions come challenges.
I won’t go into the fascination with mummy and daddy’s adult parts and learning the difference between men and women…although that was interesting. I will however go into the most recent questions about death.

Death is a part of life, and shouldn’t be avoided. But how do you explain death to a three year old? Earlier in the year we found an unwelcome guest dead in front of our kitchen. Understandably small person was upset; and said guest was removed and (relatively) humanely disposed of (green wheelie bin). She asked me why the guest was lying in front of our kitchen. I dodged the question the first time round. But small people are particularly persistent; so she asked again sometime later. This time round I said it was sleeping. That should’ve been that. It wasn’t. So I had to say it died.
“It died?” She asked. So yes I had to do my best to explain death to a three year old.

I don’t think she quite understood it; however what I think I did was demystify it, and make it a comfortable talking point. So when her understanding of it is more concrete there will be no fear attached to it. Subsequently we have seen death in cartoons (pets have died, and had garden burials) and she has looked to me and said “Did it die?” and we have had to have the conversation afresh. Learning is a series of repetition and consolidation so this conversation will go on I imagine. For me personally, 2016 was challenging. Probably the most challenging to date. But at its most stressful, at the end of the day I had the small person looking up at me, smiling, giving me hugs and kisses and giving me unconditional love. Having the responsibility of shaping her future and providing the building blocks for her life by example has always brought home the necessity to achieve and succeed.

It’s been tough, but never THAT bad, and one simple phrase kept me together: It’s ok, it will be fine. Nobody died. Well. You know, life goes on, challenges will no doubt change.

Let’s see what’s in store. I wonder what small person will ask me tomorrow…