You’d think I’d have this all figured out by now. I’m about to turn 33 in a month and my son recently turned 13… Yep, I was an early bloomer! His mother and I aren’t together and even though I have him most weekends out of the year, I feel like it’s not enough. I’m in that category of being a ‘young father’ and I’d like to think that the relationship I have with my son is far from being similar to one of his friends, and not his father. That’s what I’d like to think, and although I know he understands the boundaries I’ve set, his recent actions are telling me that he’s ignoring them, and I’m taking full responsibility for that – as well as setting him back on the path to being a better man.
The other night we’d been to a parents evening at his school where he received a great academic report, but, his attitude and behaviour were questionable. It wasn’t one teacher saying it, it was across the board. I myself am quite easy-going and comical at times, and I believe that somewhere along the line my son has adopted my sense of humour, but not in an ultimately pleasant or uplifting way.
He recently set up his own Facebook account, something I should have been against but I let it happen. My girlfriend persuaded me to get his password so I could monitor him properly as she was a little concerned about his recent online activity. And she was right to do so… The things I was seeing and reading were in stark contrast to the young man I thought I knew and it made me realise that giving my 13yr old that amount of trust and benefit of the doubt was (for him) a tad too early. I won’t go into terrible amounts of detail but I’ll say the language and general attitude towards women is certainly lacking! I want to totally blame myself, but I’m reading the messages going back and forth and I’m thinking ” I would never say that to a woman!”and what’s worse is that these girls are texting back ‘LOL, LMAO’ etc… like they like it. One girl even went as far as to refer to herself as someone’s ‘ting’. If you don’t know what that is, then it’s best you live in ignorance because nothing about it is wholesome. It may sound like I’ve invaded his privacy and you may feel like I’m abusing my sons trust – yes I have, but I live in a city where our children show an abundant lack of respect for themselves, each other and everyone else, so… when I sit my son down later this evening and show him the screenshots I’ve taken of his unacceptable behaviour, rudeness, foul language and disregard for school work and authority, which he’s managed to hide so well for so long – I’m not going to feel conflicted or guilty about trying to raise a young man that should be the opposite of all of those negative traits I just listed.
To be continued.
