Typically, when I hear people speak about their children, they say things like, “when you have children, EVERYTHING in your life changes.” To me, this statement was a grand understatement of what truly happened.
I’ve never cried so much, prayed so much. Doctors had told us we wouldn’t be able to have children, and Alison (my wife) was, pregnant!
Alison was sick everyday during the pregnancy, all day long. Instead of gaining weight, Alison lost nearly 30 pounds. I was seeing my wife go from a picture of health and youth, to getting weaker everyday. She became so dehydrated, her lips were chapped and bloody, her posture curved, hunched like an elderly woman. I became fearful of losing my wife and child. Thankfully, despite Alison’s worsening conditioning, Alexzandria, our daughter continued to grow normally and remain consistently active. Alison was in labor for 49 hours, finally, the doctors did a c-section. It was then that we found out the umbilical was wrapped tightly around Alexzandria’s throat, she had a bowel movement and had been sitting in it for countless hours. Alexzandria was instantly rushed to an intensive care unit.
That was 9 months ago, and now, our daughter is healthy, happy, and HYPER. My life did change, mostly because my perceptions changed. I value my wife so much more now, knowing how much she went through, and how I could have lost her. I never imagined that I would get so much enjoyment out of picking out which outfit my daughter would wear for the day. I never imagined I would feel so special, like Alexzandria makes me feel when she gets so excited as I return home from a days work. I was unprepared for how much my heart would warm at the sight of her smile; I never imagined how her laugh would make me smile from ear to ear. Who knew I would be so amused by her various facial expressions, by the simplicity of her ways? Who knew such big personalities could come in such small packages? How could any man turn his back on such a gift? How could any man willingly be an absentee father? It seems impossible to think of tearing myself from her.
Alexzandria is a joy, she is a blessing, she is always happy, even when she’s sick (which baffles me). I simply adore her. Of everything I am, I’m richer because I bear the title, “Daddy.”
Linwood