This was not what I expected. I thought “you’ve done this once before, you know what to expect, you know exactly what’s coming and you’re going to be able to handle it.” FOOL!
The blur is that first couple of weeks with your new child. For some it lasts weeks, months, and others? more than a year to get to grips with a new child in your life. So here’s me! 2 years on from baby number 1, with baby number 2 fast approaching – thinking I’m some big man, I know what’s coming and I’m ready for it… how wrong was I! It has been tough no word of a lie. Life with two is a different world.
Where to begin but at the beginning…
I get home late from work Thursday evening. Baby is due Friday but I am fully expecting to be at work cos this boy ain’t coming on time… no chance. Maya is asleep and Lauren is in the bath…
I go in.
She has been having contractions for the last hour or so! We don’t think this is a false alarm… it’s game time.
The in-laws are soon on the way round and the decision is made that they will lead the way to the hospital with Maya and see us into the ward before going back home and leaving us to it. The contractions are coming thick and fast and they are all concerned about the boy coming before we get to the hospital. In my mind this ain’t no TV show, you all need to calm down! I don’t say that – I just keep my cool and get us out of the flat.
We arrive at the hospital and it’s approaching 11. I have one final moment with my first born. I tell her to be good for Grannie and Granddad, i’ll see you in the morning with your baby brother and Daddy Loves you. It’s quiet, no one is around. At this point Lauren is in a lot of pain but she is fighting through it. At first I think the midwives thought we were exaggerating but as soon as they got Lauren on the bed they confirmed that the boy would be joining us very soon.
Once again Lauren doesn’t take the drugs and powers through on the air. She is incredible. All is moving very swiftly. The midwife then informs us the boy has done a poo. This isn’t good. She informs us that as a precaution some staff will be coming in to check him and make sure he is ok. In that moment I felt a fear i’ve never known before. Throughout the 9 months the thought had never crossed my mind that there maybe complications and something might happen to our child. I mean you know it happens to people every day but you rarely think it will be you. Lauren is a pediatric nurse, she knows more the most all of the potential issues that can occur and she is a very big worrier. I can’t imagine what is going through her head at that moment but I know she needs me to stay cool and composed. So I keep hold of my fear put my faith in the staff and the powers that be to see us through. A man comes into the room with a unit that will clean the boy once he comes out and check he is ok.
Lauren gives the final pushes and he is here. I wait for the cry… and he arrives. A wave of relief comes over me. I let them cut the chord as I am still anxious that they check him and make sure he is ok. As I watch the man check him we get the thumbs up. An even greater wave of relief comes over me. My wife and son are fine and I couldn’t be happier.
12.10 just over an hour after we arrived at the hospital Rafael Charles Roye is born on his due date! Incredible. Both births were complication free, no dramas getting to the hospital, no long labours, and no abuse (physical or verbal) from the wife as she gave birth to my children. Again the levels of admiration I have for my wife are sky high. I feel so blessed and can only give thanks to the greater power watching over my family.
So the blur begins, and over the last 6 months it really hasn’t stopped. A new child with new wants needs sleeping patterns, pain thresholds and a bright energetic defiant 2 going on 3 year old to contend with this time too. It has already been a sleep deprived, emotional and fun filled few months. I have children, a daughter and a son, I am a father. I now have a feeling of love and contentment that will stay with me till my dying days. Thank you.